Merry Christmas - Third Day

Wonderful News!!!

I have not kept up the blog. Busy with kids, work, life in general. But that's no excuse. Because I had great news to share but didn't take the time to do it.

Well here goes......

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!! Yes Feb 7th we will stand in front of an Ethiopian Judge to tell him Yes we have seen M and want him!!! Seems like this date would never come. After the year or ups and downs and heartache we will get to meet our little man sometime on Feb 2nd. That day can not come soon enough for me.

We have our flights, guest house reservations and just need to get stuck with another needle for Yellow fever and visas and we are on our way. Time seems to be going at super sonic speed and slow motion all at once.

It's enough to make you go bonkers:) But now I've hit planner mode. Buying little soaps, shampoos, medicines to take and anything else I can think of for a trip around the world.

Good news is that this trip we will have time to ourselves to rest, shop and just soak in as much of Ethiopia as possible so the second trip we can completely focus on M.

I do have major pray requests now.

1. that we make it through the over 24 hr travel to get there.

2. That we stay healthy in the meantime and there.

3. and this is the huge one. That the birth family makes it to court with all proper identification, and passes so that we will know if M is ours before we leave Ethiopia.

Yes there is a chance we might not pass court, and the birth family could decide not to allow the adoption. But we have seen God provide so much for this little boy and we stand in faith. But just ask for prayer for the next leg of our journey to bring him home.

Waiting for Court Date!

We have accepted the 6 yr old little boy referral. So his papers were submitted to court Nov 22. Yeah!!
Now we are just waiting to get our court dates. They say it can be 4 weeks or more to receive your court date. I am hoping we know by Christmas when we will get to travel to meet this amazing child.
We have a first name picked out that is close to his Ethiopian name but the middle name is up for debate.
I like Malachi Jameson, or Malachi James, but the jury is still out on this.

Please pray for him and us as we wait. He is so precious and I can not wait to meet him and to learn all about him.

Referral

Funny thing. This weekend I was telling people we probably wouldn't get the call about a referral until December or so. I was half hoping for this to be honest. I just put money down to pay for me and my sisters trip over Spring break to Disney with the kids. So long I prayed for the call, but now it didn't fit my scheduled plan of events. Hahaha how that must have made God laugh. He does have a sense of humor you know.

Well, today we got a call stating they had a little boy in mind for us. We are cautious but a little excited. When we opened the email I half expected to see lights flashing, birds singing, all that stuff.

But instead I saw a little boy. Cute, smiling little boy. We are not sure if he is the one but I am praying for guidance, and peace with the decision we are having to make now. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to listen to what God wants for our family, whether it's this adorable child or another we are not sure yet.

Updates

Sorry it's been so long since our last post. We just needed to take a little time away for a while but are back now. Many ask so what's happened? Well in a word, nothing. We are on a waiting list again. We are hoping for a referral to come soon. We are waiting for a child ages 2-6. You would think that would be a short wait but alas it is not. We continue to pray for the two that we couldn't bring home.

We pray that God blesses them beyond anything they could imagine and that he uses their lives to the be the light needed in their community. It was upsetting for a while to think about their lives and to try to understand what God had in store for them now. But I have learned that He does know best and will take care of these children.

So now we wait for our next child. I pray that God brings the perfect child for our family. One that fits like a Kirkland. Please continue to pray for our family.

Heavy Heart

Well, due to circumstances beyond our control the two siblings we have been trying to adopt are no longer available for adoption. Our hearts ache for them and our families here. My heart is heavy. I can see why adoptive Mom's compare losing a referral to losing a pregnancy. You carry these children so close to your heart for so long and then knowing you will never meet them in person or hold them hurts you in a way you didn't expect. We haven't told our kids about it yet and not sure if they will understand it completely.

We are uncertain what lies ahead for us. Right now I can not think past the hurt and am looking to God for comfort and direction.

Pray for our family that God will make his will known for us.

190 Days waiting

I can't believe it. it's been 190 Days since we accepted our two children's referrals. 190 Days! Wow, time has gone by fast when I look at it that way but seems to creep by on the day to day level. I have to admit I have been very discouraged in this final leg of the process. Nothing is happening like I had thought it should.

In my world the kids would have a court date and be home before Christmas, but that is not what God has in store. I know his plans are perfect. But sometimes I just wonder why??

Why do these two kids have to be there and not here with us? Why does a 13-15 yr old young man have to go another day without a father figure to love and guide him? Why does a tiny toddler have to be afraid of strangers and not have someone singing to her and holding her at night?

I do not have any answers to these questions. And that makes me very sad. I have let the fear take over me at times. Not fear of when the kids get here but more like what if they never get here? What if I can't make all of those parenting mistakes you dred about as a Mom?? I know I'll make mistakes I mean biological or not doesn't matter I am not perfect just ask my kids and husband:)

I know fear is not from our Father. I know this but yet sometimes it doesn't matter that I know. It's like knowing the pan in the oven is hot yet still grabbing for it anyway. Like we all haven't done that at least once. But something that simple has an immediate reaction to physical pain and you stop or remember it the next time you are grabbing for it.

Fear has no reaction accept more fear. The What ifs are the reason I fear. Funny thing is Life is full of them but I can only focus on the kids right now. There are so many other things I could fear but don't. Because this is where my heart is 7,000 miles away yet still here with me. It's a heart torn down the middle two places at once. I give my family here my all(as much as I can on any given day) and at night I lay awake thinking of my other kids. Praying, hoping, longing for them to be here. I pray for the day my whole family will be here and my heart not torn in two.

I just need prayers for peace and understanding, and even more faith that this is all for something to honor God. I feel I have let Him down like I should be able to have all of the Faith I need for this but I stumble and fall daily it seems my prayers have become the same everyday.

Patience grasshopper. Wow how two words can define months of what I have been feeling.

Patience.. Peace... Faith...

Sorry for the rant just having one of those moments. One on those Human emotional things I hate about me.

I never knew it was going to be this hard!

Waiting

I haven't posted in a while. Basically because there was no news on the region our Ethiopian kids are from yet. We were told on June 22nd there was going to be training and the region would then open back up after that. I guess I held my breath and prayed we would hear it opened on the 23rd. Well we haven't heard anything yet. We are waiting to see now. I am praying that somehow we will make the cutoff for the court date before the closing of the summer court. In Ethiopia the courts close from August till first of Oct. If we do not get a court date( which now will take a miracle) then our court day will be after Oct and we might not get the kids until early next year. I remind myself that God's timing is perfect but I still want them home terribly.

Sometimes this journey feels surreal. I browse all of the adoption blogs praying and hoping that there is an update out there and maybe my agency just forgot to tell us about it.

Please pray for us to have the peace we need. I know the kids feel it too. They ask why we have to wait and why we can't just go get them. In their minds they know they don't have a Mom and Dad so why make them wait when we want them to be a part of our family. They are so innocent and pure of heart. It's hard to explain why we just can't go get them. Especially when I feel the same way they do. We are so ready to love these kids and make them part of our family.

Fundraiser

We have started a new fundraiser. It's Just Love Coffee. For every purchase you make online we get a percentage of the proceeds. It's just another way you can help support our adoption and get something in return.

So check it out and see if anything looks good.

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheKirklands

Thanks-

Updates

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. We have been busy at the house. You are probably wondering where we stand now with our adoption. Well, last week our agency sent out an email stating that on June 22 nd there would be regional training and after that training is completed adoptions should proceed out of the Oromia region of Ethiopia our kids are from.

This is a huge step if all goes well. The region has been closed to adoption since Sept 09. So we pray and hold our breath waiting to hear about our kids. Good news is 8 children who were paper ready had been moved to the foster care houses in Addis last week from this region. Also huge news. We are still looking at a pretty long wait for a court date but at least it's a step forward.

This week has been pretty good. My birthday was Tuesday. The kids and Hubby took me out to dinner. And I finally got my freezer. I know who would be excited for a freezer. I would. I;m very practical about my gifts and this is one I've been wanting and needing for a long time. We're gonna need a freezer to store all the food these new kids are going to eat:)

I can't wait to fill it will all kinds of food.

The kids are on summer vacation now. Can someone say calgon. No they really haven't been that bad. Just want to be fed. Crazy hun they gotta eat;)

Benefit dinner Thanks

We had our Benefit dinner at church this past Friday. I want to thank everyone who turned out in the bad weather to support us. We raised over 1800.00 praise God. Every penny counts and gets us closer to our kids. We had lots of fun and food. Still eating spaghetti leftovers. Only about 25lbs of it was left:)

This past weekend was busy for us. With the dinner Friday and then Saturday Jim and I took a much needed break and went out on a date for our anniversary. It was great to get to spend some alone time talking and laughing. We all need that. Our anniversary was Sunday ( same day as the Ethiopian elections) we spent the day at church and then home in the garage cleaning Jims new/ very old car seats. I thought all day off and on about the elections and how this one day could affect our adoption. Everytime I think about it I pray "Lord, please let the right person be elected to this office that will have your heart for these orphans." We will not hear anything form this region for a while. I am guessing months. But in this wait our kids are being fed and loved. They are hearing of Jesus and he is working in their hearts.

I read a story that is so true. people see 147 million orphans world wide and think wow it's too much. What can we do to help that will make a difference. Sure you can adopt one or two children but it's not making a dent. To those of you and sometimes me who think this way here's a story you might need to hear.

"A Father and daughter were walking on the beach. The beach was filled with starfish that washed ashore from a storm. They would all surely die, being outside the water. The father watched as the daughter picked up a starfish, and walked up to the water and carefully placed it back in. She did this over and over and over. The Father, while filled with Pride for his daughter, comments. Honey. Why are you doing that? You are not going to make a difference, look at all those starfish. They are everywhere (as he motions to the thousands of starfish across the beach) As the Daughter picked up another starfish, carries it to the waters edge and places it into the water, the Daughter replies. "It made a difference to that one"

It matters to that one child you adopt, sponsor or pray for greatly. this just puts it all in perspective for me. It's all overwhelming when you look at it all but God didn't call me to look at 147 Million he only called me to look at our two in Ethiopia... for now:)

No News yet

We still have no news about our kiddos in Ethiopia. We did receive some new pictures of our referred boy. He has already grow so much in the time we have "known" him through pictures. I just want to get them both home.

We have our Benefit dinner at church next Friday. Wow that has been an experience. With sending out over 100 invites and not getting much response I'm not sure how many people will be showing up. I am planning for an army and hoping for the best. I'm still concerned on how this is all going to come together. Worries me more than a little. I've never one anything like this and I feel I am going in blind for the most part. But I know it will all work out and I tend to stress over the small stuff.

Mothers day

Well, today is Mother's Day. It hit me hard this morning as the kids gave me their handmade cards and the very cute table water fountain that something was still missing. Our other two kiddos were not here yet. On a day when I should be able to hold them tight they are thousands of miles away. I am hopeful that next year we will have the entire Kirkland crew together to celebrate this special day and all of the other days as well.

This week was busy, busy, busy. We received our I-71 clearance form. Yeah! Last form on our part needed for a court date in Ethiopia. Now we just wait for the kids to be released. I am praying that the elected official in Ethiopia after May 23rd does not drag his/her feet to write the new rules and open the region back up again.

We also had an adoption benefit yard sale. My friends and family are nothing short of awesome. They donated their items, time, and money to our cause and we raised over $500.00. Talk about a wonderful feeling. I was not expecting that much at all. God does provide doesn't he.

This week I have been feeling the lesson in my wait is not so much a lesson anymore but preparation. My heart is being prepared for our children. My prayer is that the hearts of all of us are prepared to open and love each other as God has loved us. I know time will go by fast as it always does with kids, school, work and family but it's on these quite hours after everyone is asleep I sit and think of our Ethiopian children. I wonder what they will be like how they will feel, adapt, even sound when speaking. This journey has brought me closer to the word, family, and new friends. I know it has been long and it is far from over.

Dossier is in Ethiopia!!!

Received word today our Dossier is officially in Ethiopia!!! YAH! We also were told some news about the region our children are from. Here's what our agency has found out so far:

“The Oromia officials announced that they will be writing guidelines for all orphanages/adoptions from their region BUT they will not do so until after the elections in late May. No further announcements or news will be heard until after the elections.”

So this means that they will not even start reviewing the guidelines until late May. This means that children and their paperwork are not going to move anywhere until officials make a decision. We do not know how long it will take.
We will let you know when we get any new information."

So this means we will be waiting a while for a court date. But at least it's better than no news at all. I kinda figured this to be the case. They didn't want to mess with it until after the elections. Makes sense I guess that way the ones writing the rules will be able to see them through. It doesn't make it any easier on us waiting but God knows what he is doing.

On a side note we had a great meeting with our Pastor who came out to our home to visit yesterday. I have to admit I was nervous but I don't know why. growing up it was not strange to have one of our senior Pastors at our home for a bible study. it didn't take long for my nerves to be calm. He has a calming spirit about him. Makes you feel comfortable when he speaks to you. It was a good visit for our entire family. The kids enjoyed having company over as they always do.

I pray for our children here and overseas that they feel the love of Christ in their lives. For the two in Ethiopia I pray someone will tell them of his love and HE will comfort them when we can not. For my two home grown kidos I pray I can lead them on the right path and they will continue to walk it when I am gone.

Random Wednesday

Thought a lot last night night and today about the mother of our referred adoptive children. I pray that someone will tell her of the love of Christ. That she will be given peace in and through HIM.

I could not image the pain and hurt she must feel and there is only 1 who can ease her pain and suffering.

We often feel for the children but forget in some cases there is a mother, father, family left behind. They are not heartless, uncaring, callous, or cold. Most truly love their children and want a better life for them than what they have the means to give. I hurt for those who have to make this choice. I can not image having to choose this for my children or myself. Being a Mother of two children I can not image being apart from them even if it was for their own benefit.

Please join me in praying for these families who are left to carry on without their little ones that someone will cross their path and lead them to the ONE who can ease their pain. God the only one who knows their hearts and sacrifices.

Bible verse of the week(actually weeks) for me

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from
the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give
them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons
from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth." Isaiah
43:5-6

Dossier update

Well, our dossier got through Washington and the Ethiopian Embassy and is on it's way to Ethiopia this week. YAH! 5 months of my life spent on paperwork. We are just so glad it is done.

That's the Good news. Now we are being told that our kids still can't be released until the ban on Shashemene region is lifted. Pray please for our two kids to be released very soon so they can come home. We were asked again today : How long will you wait?" Well I do not have an answer for that. I guess as long as God tells us too. I mean our wait has just really started. 6 months, 2 years it's really up to HIM not us. I really feel these kids are to be Kirkland's so we wait. If we are told not to wait anymore for these two that just means God has a plan for them and for us.

We received an update on our baby girl. She is hitting all of her developmental stages. Great! Only issue noted was she is not adjusting to strangers. So sad for her. What will she think of us. We pray God will prepare their hearts for us just as he is ours for them.

On a separate note we got our trip shots today. Wow, I take shots pretty good but man 5 at one time was apparently to much for me. After the 3rd one I had to sit down and have them give me a drink. They say my face and lips lost all color. I could have told them that from the ringing in my ears to the dry metal taste in my mouth that I was going to go down if I didn't get something to drink. She asks did you eat today? Well sort of. Had a half bowl of cereal at 9 am. Shots were given at 1:45 whoops should have eaten. Jim was there with KK and when the nurse left the room in such a hurry for my drink I could hear him say Ha she's passed out. Ha No I didn't all the way:) Jokes on him. I just needed a minute to compose myself.

Dossier on it's Way

Well, Today was a huge day for us. Mom and I drove to Indy to get our two papers in the dossier authenticated at the state level. 5 1/2 hrs later we were back home. I dropped Mom off and went straight to the bank to get our agency fee check and the Embassy checks all done. Then off to UPS to overnight them all out. The Dossier should arrive in Washington today!!! It's been such a long time getting to this point. We are still having trouble with getting our I71 approval since the state claims they have never received a copy of our home study even though I personally overnighted 1 and the agency did as well. So a third times a charm.

When I go t home from I told Jim well no turning back now our money and paperwork is out of our hands. He looked at me so serious and said " You know I've been having second thoughts" I could've died. Leave it to him. He must have seen the defeat on my face and quickly said " I was just kidding, relax" Wow not a joke you want to hear at this point. Leave it to him to cause me to have a heart attack:)

He then said it's a huge step maybe we should celebrate. Not something I felt like doing but thought you know he's right. So we asked the kids where they wanted to go to eat. Sub way east fresh they said. That was a mistake. not a relaxing meal at all. My kids acted like they were raised outside the whole time. Jim looks over and says good idea just think 4 of these animals. Now who's having second thoughts:)

Enough ranting. I do have prayer requests.

1. That our paperwork is okay and gets to the proper places in a timely manner

2. that we get our I71 approval since we can't get a court date without it

3. that the region the kids are from will open up adoptions again.

4. That someone over there is showing my kids the mercy and love that they deserve and is sharing Jesus with them as wait for them.

Lord please keep these little ones safe and happy and loved until we can get them home. Prepare our hearts for hem and theirs for us. Amen

Home Study

Well, It's been 4 1/2 months since we started the Home study and we still do not have a final one. I was sent a final certified one this week but it still had mistakes in it. This has been a very loooong part f the process. But I know it's not my time but God's timing. I know I need to let go and let God. It's just really hard for a control freak like myself:) We haven't recieved an update or pictures of the kids since Feb. I just wonder how they are doing. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk about them and pray for them. That someone there is loving on them while we wait.

On a good note looks like our church is going to let us have beneift donner sometime in May. Yea!

We ask for prayers for the region our kids are from opens back up the adoption process so the kids there can finally come home to their forever families.

Updates on adoption

Well, alot has happened since my last post. We have switched agencies, and accepted a sibling set of two. A boy about 11 yrs old and his sister who is 13 months old. What is wonderful is that these two kids are siblings to a couple we know at church they adopted 4 , 3 girls and 1 boy sibling set in 2009 and our two are the oldest and youngest of the siblings.

Isn't God wonderful. These 6 children will be able to stay in very close contact see each other and grow up together 7,000 miles away from where they started.

We are very excited and are praying the children are released to be adopted soon. We have a few more documents for the Dossier but should be sending that on in just a few weeks.

We are trying to adjust to the thought of going from a family of 4 to a family of 6.

Now all we have to do is pray for the balance of the funds to come in and well be all set. God has provided 75% of the funds to us before we have even started fundraising. Wow would have never thought we could pull together that kind of money. God does provide.

Caitlyn and Lawson are getting excited. Caitlyn keeps telling me what she is going to do for her little sister and Lawson just wants a brother so bad. They put them in their prayers in the morning and at night. It makes my heart swell that my children have accepted two kids so easily and talk about them all the time.