Today at lunch after church we had our first grieving episode. Micki started talking about Ethiopia and his family. He spoke alot about his Mom and Dad and ended by hiding his face and crying most of the meal. I couldn't tell you how much my heart went out to him. It hurt to see him in so much pain. There was nothing I could say that would make it okay. He is grieving for his life he knew and family back in Ethiopia. It's one thing to be brought into a family when you have no one but to a child who was loved by his family and brought to an orphanage to be adopted it doesn't make sense to them. He told me his Mommy loved him and he cried when she left him there. My heart wanted to jump from my chest, not because he spoke of his love and family but the hurt he was feeling I couldn't make go away.
He understands so much and we forget he is 7. I could not image the pain and suffering he has felt in his short little life.
He didn't stay upset for to long but it brought so much to light about what we are going to encounter in the future and I pray God gives me the words to ease his broken heart.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Almost 3 months!!!
Wow time has flown. I thought the summer would last longer. The kids are ready for school to start and to be honest so am I. Jim has worked so much overtime and I have tried to work while the kids were home and I have to say it's been a challenge, but worth the time I get to spend with them during the day.
I took Micki yesterday to have him evaluated for his English at the New Albany School Corp building. That was interesting. She asked him lots of questions and for the most part he understood and spoke back to her. He has a way to go and is not considered fluent in English at all but he will adjust like he has to our family life to school. He is so excited about going and asks when. try telling a child who doesn't understand the concept of time that school is two weeks away. He just looks at me and says tomorrow? I nod and say yeah something like that:)
It has been a full summer with Swimming, Video games, Playing outside(when it's not to hot) and just hanging out. Life with Three kiddos is not easy but not near as hard as I thought either. They seem to know when Mom has had enough and give me a good day so I don't loose my mind most of the time.
Micki has adjusted wonderfully and is growing finally. a whole pound. with if you saw him eat would just a pound. Him and KK weigh the same amount only he is a little taller. Come to think of it I think Lawson weighs the same too. We have our moments here and they are getting less and less. The kids seem to be getting along better and play nicer with each other. Can't wait to look back in 6 months to see all of the differences then.
I took Micki yesterday to have him evaluated for his English at the New Albany School Corp building. That was interesting. She asked him lots of questions and for the most part he understood and spoke back to her. He has a way to go and is not considered fluent in English at all but he will adjust like he has to our family life to school. He is so excited about going and asks when. try telling a child who doesn't understand the concept of time that school is two weeks away. He just looks at me and says tomorrow? I nod and say yeah something like that:)
It has been a full summer with Swimming, Video games, Playing outside(when it's not to hot) and just hanging out. Life with Three kiddos is not easy but not near as hard as I thought either. They seem to know when Mom has had enough and give me a good day so I don't loose my mind most of the time.
Micki has adjusted wonderfully and is growing finally. a whole pound. with if you saw him eat would just a pound. Him and KK weigh the same amount only he is a little taller. Come to think of it I think Lawson weighs the same too. We have our moments here and they are getting less and less. The kids seem to be getting along better and play nicer with each other. Can't wait to look back in 6 months to see all of the differences then.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
6 Weeks home Already???
Seems like yesterday we stepped off that plane as a family of 5. But in some ways it feels like Micki has always been with us. He fits in so well with everyone. I keep holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to fall. This can't really be this easy of a transition can it???
We have learned so much about where he came from and what he knows. We paid for a documentary of his life and they actually went to his home and interviewed his remaining family. It was hard to see it all but also wonderful. Like looking a little deeper into what makes him, him. One day when he is old enough to understand we will let him watch it but for now it's only for Dad and Mom to know their son better.
This child shocks and amazes us everyday. We just found out he knows his ABCs by sight and his numbers, most of his colors, and most animals all in English. For those of you who don't understand he spoke a different language than Amharic when he came to Acicia Village in Nov 2010. So this poor child had to learn Amharic from Nov till May and now he is learning English. That's just impressive 2 new languages in 7 months!!!!
We are thinking he is ready for kindergarten if he can communicate with his teachers okay by late July. We did the first test run of leaving him with Lawson in his Sunday school class today and he did really well they said so that's the first 2 hours he's been without Mom or Dad in 2 months.
Now some things we are working on that aren't so peachy.
#1. the need to hit when Lawson or Caitlyn do something he doesn't like. Granted they almost deserve it most of the time but timeouts are always given with reinforcements of we do not hit, or kick come tell Mommy or Daddy if they are bothering you.
#2. This fake crying thing he has done since I picked him up. He has this cry that you can not tell if he's hurt or playing. 99.9% of the time when we come running he is just standing/laying/ sitting making a crying sound then he just turns and laughs. Not so funny anymore. Jim and I are now telling him not to do that cause we can never tell if something is really wrong or not. Can somebody say the boy who cried wolf?? So that's gotta stop no to mention it's like listening to a baby cry non stop it's one of those under the skin sort of sounds.
#3. English, that's what we speak here and now it's time to start to learn it. I have been tip toeing around this issue for a few weeks saying well I want him to feel comfortable, and I don't want him to loose all of his language. But when I look at him and tell him to say it in English and tell him the word he refuses sometimes and I know these are all words he already knows. I have even held up a drink and said say it in English and you can have it and he will just smile at me like I am speaking tongues even though he knows what I want him to do.
I just want him to be able to communicate with everyone else not just me.
#4. Asking for everything in the store. I made the mistake of taking all three kids with me by myself shopping. We went to 3 stores. 1st on went okay, second got a little trickier, third I wanted to run screaming from the store. between Micki, Lawson and Caitlyn I was being asked for something every 5 seconds. And with Micki he didn't care what he picked up it was always But please Mommy. And when I said no he huffed and puffed and just went to the thing beside it asking the same question. We went down the movie isle and he proceeded to pick up no lie 10-15 movies at random and each time it was but please mommy. My answer no come on. He was picking up rated r pg 13, things I wouldn't even watch and he wasn't even looking at the covers just picking and asking just to do it. so that was a bad night for me. I felt like I had ticked off all three of the kids and said no 100 times.
So those are my top 4 things we are going to work on. Nothing major just normal kid/ adoption stuff. I just hope he is really as happy as he seems all of the time. I feel he has bounded with us and is opening up more all of the time.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
5 days home and counting
Well, I have been home for 5 days with Micki. He seems to be adjusting very well. Just getting the basics down on what he can and can not do. The language barrier has come into play a little but not to much.
Now more about him I have learned in the past 3 weeks.
He loves to laugh
He loves to smile ( even when he is getting a talking to)
He is VERY ticklish
He is trying very hard to understand us
He acts more like a 4/ 5 yr old than a 7 yr old
He is very smart
He is very athletic
He likes the dogs but is also terrified of them
He sleeps very well but gets up very early
He eats like a 16 yr old boy
He cries when he thinks you are mad at him:(
He is not yet the cuddler my other two kiddos are, not yet at least
He is very active and needs to be outside once it stops raining here
He needs to be entertained alot more than Lawson & KK do
He investigates EVERYTHING There isn't a cabinet he hasn't opened and reopened left in this house:)
He needs to be heard.
With all that said he is a wonderful little boy who I can't wait to see blossom in the coming months, and years. This seems like a cake walk right now so please pray for us as we come out of the honeymoon phase once he is completely comfortable being himself with us. I know I will need guidance, strength and peace in the future.
Now more about him I have learned in the past 3 weeks.
He loves to laugh
He loves to smile ( even when he is getting a talking to)
He is VERY ticklish
He is trying very hard to understand us
He acts more like a 4/ 5 yr old than a 7 yr old
He is very smart
He is very athletic
He likes the dogs but is also terrified of them
He sleeps very well but gets up very early
He eats like a 16 yr old boy
He cries when he thinks you are mad at him:(
He is not yet the cuddler my other two kiddos are, not yet at least
He is very active and needs to be outside once it stops raining here
He needs to be entertained alot more than Lawson & KK do
He investigates EVERYTHING There isn't a cabinet he hasn't opened and reopened left in this house:)
He needs to be heard.
With all that said he is a wonderful little boy who I can't wait to see blossom in the coming months, and years. This seems like a cake walk right now so please pray for us as we come out of the honeymoon phase once he is completely comfortable being himself with us. I know I will need guidance, strength and peace in the future.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Leaving on a Jet Plane!
Wow what a week this has been. We are almost all packed for Monday. Yes we leave Monday in just 3 days..
Doesn't seem real yet. Looks like My husband will not be able to go with me on this last trip. The casino boat he works at is still flooded and he needs to be here when it opens back up.
I am sad, disappointed, nervous, and relieved. Yes I said relieved. But not for what you probably think.
This way he will get to spend time with our kids here and my parents wouldn't have watch them for 12 24hours a days straight, which in itself is a huge deal. And one of us will be here for my daughters 5th birthday and Mother's Day.
We have been preparing for him not to go since we started this process so my sister will be going with me and I am sure we will be fine. I will just miss my kids and hubby while I am gone. This will the the longest time I have been away from them all.
So wish us luck and prayers as we board that jet plane to bring home our son. Specifically pray for him that he is at eases as much as possible and not stressed.
Doesn't seem real yet. Looks like My husband will not be able to go with me on this last trip. The casino boat he works at is still flooded and he needs to be here when it opens back up.
I am sad, disappointed, nervous, and relieved. Yes I said relieved. But not for what you probably think.
This way he will get to spend time with our kids here and my parents wouldn't have watch them for 12 24hours a days straight, which in itself is a huge deal. And one of us will be here for my daughters 5th birthday and Mother's Day.
We have been preparing for him not to go since we started this process so my sister will be going with me and I am sure we will be fine. I will just miss my kids and hubby while I am gone. This will the the longest time I have been away from them all.
So wish us luck and prayers as we board that jet plane to bring home our son. Specifically pray for him that he is at eases as much as possible and not stressed.
Monday, April 25, 2011
We are Cleared for take off!!!
Well this morning was a surprise our case worker called us and told us the US Embassy has cleared us for travel.
What a wonderful way to start a day. So we sat down checked flights and came up with three dates to submit to Embassy.
May 9th, May 10th, May 11th. We could be leaving as early as Tuesday of next week or Friday of next week depending on the date the embassy chooses from those three.
My excitement is almost to much to handle. I know Tuesday sounds really soon but to me I would have left tomorrow if I could have. So now the mad dash to get things packed and done here at the house.
I have enough to keep me busy for weeks so I have to figure out how to do it all in just days.
We should know something either tomorrow or Wednesday on the actual date so we can book flights.
Again WOW!!!
What a wonderful way to start a day. So we sat down checked flights and came up with three dates to submit to Embassy.
May 9th, May 10th, May 11th. We could be leaving as early as Tuesday of next week or Friday of next week depending on the date the embassy chooses from those three.
My excitement is almost to much to handle. I know Tuesday sounds really soon but to me I would have left tomorrow if I could have. So now the mad dash to get things packed and done here at the house.
I have enough to keep me busy for weeks so I have to figure out how to do it all in just days.
We should know something either tomorrow or Wednesday on the actual date so we can book flights.
Again WOW!!!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Submitted to Embassy
Yes, you read correctly. We were Submitted to Embassy on Wednesday of this week.
So now we wait for our "call" or email that tells us when to be there pick up our son.
Some have heard 48 hrs later, some weeks later. We are praying for the earlier. I have so much going on here in May and want to have my son home for all of it.
My parents 50th wedding anniversary party is second week in May my daughters birthday is first week in May and I would love to have Micki home for it all.
That would take a miracle now. So please pray with us that God moves mountains for our son.
This Easter we celebrate our Lord dying for us and rising again, as a family of Five. God has given our son to us to love and raise in the ways of Him. And he has given my son a second chance for life in a forever family. He was lost in a world 7,000 miles away but now God has found him a home, a family desperate to be everything he needs us to be for him.
Micki I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around you and hold you. Your Mom and Dad are waiting for you. We are waiting for the call to come to you. We will be there soon son and then you will never have to be afraid or alone again.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Ups and Downs of our Adoption
Sorry haven't been on here very much. I have been traveling with work and just frankly didn't have much to say. Well nothing I care to put in writing.
Seems like this process is one step forward and three steps back. We received our birth certificate and court decree we were so excited, only to find a mistake that has to be corrected. So we are waiting yet again for our court decree. No telling how long that will take to get that one piece of paper.
Oh the waiting for paper so exhausting.
But one step closer is better then nothing I tell myself.
I was looking through photos of KK and Lawson when they were little. It reminded me that we will never know Micki's story. When he asks did I walk early or what was my first word we won't be able to tell him. My heart breaks for the things we missed. Not that we missed them really but that we won't be able to tell him that his son or daughter looks just like him, acts like him or anything at that infant/toddler stage.
I just don't want to miss anything else. I want him home so we can get to know him and start making our memories as a family. Everyday that goes by is one we can't get back with him. Every skinned knee nightmare, giggle he has now is one we aren't a part of. One we can't kiss, comfort and enjoy with him.
I often said this is like a pregnancy but now it's turned into our child our son is half way around the world waiting just like we are for us to come to him. No amount of red tape or delays can be explained away to a seven year old. He knows he has a family and wonders when will they come for me. I can't image his thoughts. Mine are hard enough to bare and I understand the process. Well sort of understand. I don't understand all the delays and waiting. Child in need of family, Child adopted, parents come get child, case closed in my mind. But the waiting is something I am not accepting very well now.
Seems like this process is one step forward and three steps back. We received our birth certificate and court decree we were so excited, only to find a mistake that has to be corrected. So we are waiting yet again for our court decree. No telling how long that will take to get that one piece of paper.
Oh the waiting for paper so exhausting.
But one step closer is better then nothing I tell myself.
I was looking through photos of KK and Lawson when they were little. It reminded me that we will never know Micki's story. When he asks did I walk early or what was my first word we won't be able to tell him. My heart breaks for the things we missed. Not that we missed them really but that we won't be able to tell him that his son or daughter looks just like him, acts like him or anything at that infant/toddler stage.
I just don't want to miss anything else. I want him home so we can get to know him and start making our memories as a family. Everyday that goes by is one we can't get back with him. Every skinned knee nightmare, giggle he has now is one we aren't a part of. One we can't kiss, comfort and enjoy with him.
I often said this is like a pregnancy but now it's turned into our child our son is half way around the world waiting just like we are for us to come to him. No amount of red tape or delays can be explained away to a seven year old. He knows he has a family and wonders when will they come for me. I can't image his thoughts. Mine are hard enough to bare and I understand the process. Well sort of understand. I don't understand all the delays and waiting. Child in need of family, Child adopted, parents come get child, case closed in my mind. But the waiting is something I am not accepting very well now.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Introducing Our SON...
We got the okay to post pictures today of our son Milkias. We passed court on March 10th and are awaiting the paperwork to be completed and birth certificate so we can put in for our Embassy date and go and bring him home. He is such a happy looking little boy and we can't wait to see him blossom when he gets home. You can see he has a funny personality in many of the pictures.
Please pray that we get our Embassy date very soon so he will be home with us.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
So Sorry
Well it's been a crazy busy week. But.... We passed Court!!!! EARLY!!!!!! I got the call Thursday morning. I was standing in the middle of Old Time Pottery with KK and couldn't believe it. Our case worker called and my heart sank at first thinking she was going to tell us that something was wrong but she answers saying:
You have a son...
Me: What...
Her: You have a son. You passed court.
Me: No that's not suppose to be until tomorrow.
Her: Well it was today..
Me: Wow, I have a son!!
I then turned to KK and told her M was finally ours. She started jumping up and down and yelling yeah! M is finally ours. I can't wait to tell Daddy.
So in the middle of the store I called Jim. And practically yelling into the phone.
Jim: Hey what's up
Me: We have a son!!!
Jim: What?
Me We have a son!! We Passed court early.
Jim: What We passed!. Oh I can eat.
Me: Yes you can eat now....
See we were both fasting until we heard something. Of course I fasted until our whole group heard their news. 3 of the 5 of us passed court. Please pray for the other two families to pass court so their little girls can come home very soon too. My heart aches for them and their little ones.
So that was Thursday, still trying to get used to the idea that 7,000 miles away our Son is waiting for us. There is now a Kirkland in Ethiopia waiting for us to pick him up.
Then Friday we had 25+ family at the house for Lawson's birthday and then 5 of his class mates came Saturday and 4 stayed the night. So you see it's Sunday morning and I have yet to sleep more than a handful of hours and haven't had time to update our blog. So forgive me if it sounds odd I am soooo tired and am going to bed now at 10:47 am on Sunday. And hopefully will sleep for more than 3-4 hours.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Only 3 more days...
Until we find out if we passed court or not. Huge request for prayers on Thursday. Our court is the 11th but since Ethiopia is 8 hours ahead of us our court will probably happen sometime while we sleep.
Who am I kidding there will be no sleep for me. It's gonna be a long week.
On top of court we also have two birthday parties for Lawson. One Friday night with the family and then a friend sleep over Saturday night. Not sure what I was thinking!
Let's just say our weekend will be VERY busy. I wish it was all happening during the week so maybe it would go by faster.
There really hasn't been much news on the Ethiopian adoption front. MOWCY is still trying to cut their letters of adoption recommendation but has been met with many agencies and groups opposition. We pray they will not cut the letters down and find a better solution to the issues at hand. The Children are the ones that suffer the most. Our pain waiting here is nothing compared to theirs.
I pray "M" does not feel we abandoned him and that he knows we are coming back as soon as they let us to bring him home. We just want him home with us. To start his new life with his new forever family. Give him the love, and stability he is lacking now. Don't get me wrong the nannies at the orphanage love those kids like their own But nothing can replace a Mother and Father's love and security. I wonder what he thinks of us those two crazy Americans who colored and played soccer with him all day and who left as quick as they came. I hope he feels the connection we feel towards him. I just want to hop on a plane Africa bound to see him and show him we will be back.
So 3 days until we know if he is legally our son and can put in for am Embassy date and bring him home.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Help Father. I need You now.
This morning I open facebook and read another one of our adoption buddies updates. As I read my heart and soul went cold. It seems they have an expired document ( on March 9th) and our court date is suppose to be the 10th. We pray they are allowed to pass anyway since it is so close.
Something that is very close to my heart since I went through our own docs this week and found that we had the 2006, 2007, and 2008 tax returns not 2009. The 2008 would be 2 + years and all docs should be less than 2 years. Now I don't know if this is a document that would affect us or not haven't heard back from my agency yet. I don't think it is but anything at this point sends a chill through you. Any delay in our case at all will result in a year + process to bring our boy home it seems.
You see the MOWCY(ministry of women and childrens affairs) has set the date for the decrease of 50+ letters to only 5 on March 10th. A day before our court date. If we do not pass on the 11th the wait will increase dramatically until we can get M home.
Here is a copy of the newspaper . This coupled with the looming US government shut down at embassy is not good news for anyone in the adoption process in Ethiopia and especially not the children it affects.
"Ethiopia is cutting back by as much as 90 percent the number of inter-country adoptions it will allow, as part of an effort to clean up a system rife with fraud and corruption. Adoption agencies and children's advocates are concerned the cutbacks will leave many Ethiopian orphans without the last-resort option of an adoptive home abroad.
Ethiopia's Ministry of Women's, Children's and Youth Affairs has issued a directive saying it will process a maximum of five inter-country adoptions a day, effective March 10. Currently, the ministry is processing up to 50 cases a day, about half of them to the United States.
A copy of the directive provided to VOA says the reduction of up to 90 percent in cases will allow closer scrutiny of documents used to verify a child's orphan status.
Ministry spokesman Abiy Ephrem says the action was taken in response to indications of widespread fraud in the adoption process.
"What we have seen so far has been some illegal practices. There is an abuse. There are some cases that are illegal. So these directives will pave the way to come up with [safeguards]," said Abiy Ephrem.
Investigations have turned up evidence of unscrupulous operators in some cases tricking Ethiopian parents to give up their children, then falsifying documents in order claim a part of the large fees involved in inter country adoptions.
American couples often pay more than $20,000 to adopt an Ethiopian child. Such amounts are an enormous temptation in a country where the average family earns a few hundred dollars a month.
U.S. State Department statistics show more than 2,500 Ethiopian orphans went to the United States last year. That is more than a ten fold increase over the past few years, making Ethiopia the second most popular destination for Americans seeking to adopt overseas, after China.
Child protection professionals generally welcomed efforts to clean up the system.
Some, however, questioned the motive behind the cutback. One adoption agency representative who asked not to be identified called the policy "ridiculous", and said it appears to be in retaliation for recent criticism of the government's lax oversight of the process.
Abigail Rupp, head of the consular section at the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa says the cutback is likely to result in a drop in adoptions to the United States from last year's 2,500 to fewer than 500. She says the biggest concern is for the estimated 1,000 children currently in the adoptions pipeline, who may be forced to wait more than a year for their cases to be considered.
"We share the government's concerns about the vulnerabilities in the process. But certainly we have concerns about children who would be waiting longer for their adoptions to be final. That would mean they would be in an orphanage or transition home for a longer period of time," she said.
Rupp said adoption agencies in Ethiopia should take the directive as a cue to be accountable for each case they bring forward, including knowing exactly how children in orphanages came to be there. She said government officials have indicated they may close as many as 45 orphanages as part of the effort to clean up what critics have labeled a "baby business".
Ted Chaiban, head of the Addis Ababa office of the U.N. children's agency UNICEF, called the new rules "an important step" in rooting out irregularities in the system and finding family-based local solutions for what the government estimates are 5 million Ethiopian orphans.
"What is important is that any child deemed to require care be looked at in terms of a range of options starting from family reunification all the way through inter country adoption. In that respect the work being done by the ministry needs to be strengthened and supported," he said.
U.S. Embassy officials late Friday indicated they are posting an adoption alert on the State Department's website addressing the concerns of Americans who will be affected by the Ethiopian government directive. The alert can be seen at www.adoptions.state.gov."
Something that is very close to my heart since I went through our own docs this week and found that we had the 2006, 2007, and 2008 tax returns not 2009. The 2008 would be 2 + years and all docs should be less than 2 years. Now I don't know if this is a document that would affect us or not haven't heard back from my agency yet. I don't think it is but anything at this point sends a chill through you. Any delay in our case at all will result in a year + process to bring our boy home it seems.
You see the MOWCY(ministry of women and childrens affairs) has set the date for the decrease of 50+ letters to only 5 on March 10th. A day before our court date. If we do not pass on the 11th the wait will increase dramatically until we can get M home.
Here is a copy of the newspaper . This coupled with the looming US government shut down at embassy is not good news for anyone in the adoption process in Ethiopia and especially not the children it affects.
"Ethiopia is cutting back by as much as 90 percent the number of inter-country adoptions it will allow, as part of an effort to clean up a system rife with fraud and corruption. Adoption agencies and children's advocates are concerned the cutbacks will leave many Ethiopian orphans without the last-resort option of an adoptive home abroad.
Ethiopia's Ministry of Women's, Children's and Youth Affairs has issued a directive saying it will process a maximum of five inter-country adoptions a day, effective March 10. Currently, the ministry is processing up to 50 cases a day, about half of them to the United States.
A copy of the directive provided to VOA says the reduction of up to 90 percent in cases will allow closer scrutiny of documents used to verify a child's orphan status.
Ministry spokesman Abiy Ephrem says the action was taken in response to indications of widespread fraud in the adoption process.
"What we have seen so far has been some illegal practices. There is an abuse. There are some cases that are illegal. So these directives will pave the way to come up with [safeguards]," said Abiy Ephrem.
Investigations have turned up evidence of unscrupulous operators in some cases tricking Ethiopian parents to give up their children, then falsifying documents in order claim a part of the large fees involved in inter country adoptions.
American couples often pay more than $20,000 to adopt an Ethiopian child. Such amounts are an enormous temptation in a country where the average family earns a few hundred dollars a month.
U.S. State Department statistics show more than 2,500 Ethiopian orphans went to the United States last year. That is more than a ten fold increase over the past few years, making Ethiopia the second most popular destination for Americans seeking to adopt overseas, after China.
Child protection professionals generally welcomed efforts to clean up the system.
Some, however, questioned the motive behind the cutback. One adoption agency representative who asked not to be identified called the policy "ridiculous", and said it appears to be in retaliation for recent criticism of the government's lax oversight of the process.
Abigail Rupp, head of the consular section at the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa says the cutback is likely to result in a drop in adoptions to the United States from last year's 2,500 to fewer than 500. She says the biggest concern is for the estimated 1,000 children currently in the adoptions pipeline, who may be forced to wait more than a year for their cases to be considered.
"We share the government's concerns about the vulnerabilities in the process. But certainly we have concerns about children who would be waiting longer for their adoptions to be final. That would mean they would be in an orphanage or transition home for a longer period of time," she said.
Rupp said adoption agencies in Ethiopia should take the directive as a cue to be accountable for each case they bring forward, including knowing exactly how children in orphanages came to be there. She said government officials have indicated they may close as many as 45 orphanages as part of the effort to clean up what critics have labeled a "baby business".
Ted Chaiban, head of the Addis Ababa office of the U.N. children's agency UNICEF, called the new rules "an important step" in rooting out irregularities in the system and finding family-based local solutions for what the government estimates are 5 million Ethiopian orphans.
"What is important is that any child deemed to require care be looked at in terms of a range of options starting from family reunification all the way through inter country adoption. In that respect the work being done by the ministry needs to be strengthened and supported," he said.
U.S. Embassy officials late Friday indicated they are posting an adoption alert on the State Department's website addressing the concerns of Americans who will be affected by the Ethiopian government directive. The alert can be seen at www.adoptions.state.gov."
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What I love about my husband
My husband is constantly amazing me.
Today we were talking about a friend who going through a difficult time with their adoption process. We were talking about praying for this couple who may have to give up their referral (kinda long story please pray for them)
I told him all we could do is pray for them that God will make his will shown to them loud and clear. I know they love these kids with their whole hearts now. I have been there and loved our first referrals for a long time before we lost them.
I thought back to our first referrals how he was amazingly not devastated by loosing them like I was. What I came to realize was in his mind they were not ours and was not totally attached. He was open and willing to adopt them because it was right and he would have loved them but he just couldn't let himself get close to pictures of kids. All I can say is Thank You God for his feeling towards that whole experience. He was not cold, just guarded, I sometimes wish I had been more like him in that way. I don't think the kids could have gone through seeing both of their parents crying hysterically on the couch for days.
He then said the most touching thing I think I have ever heard come out of his mouth yet. "Now with our little man we have bonded with him, Loved him, played with, and accepted him. He is ours and we would wait years to bring him home if we had too. I've accepted him already as ours"
Now those words don't seem like much but coming from him that means " he's my son". That was huge to hear. I mean I knew that in my heart but his I wasn't so sure if he felt that way really or not yet.
If I have learned anything in this bumpy road journey it's that People surprise you along the way. They react differently and not always the way you think they would.
Today we were talking about a friend who going through a difficult time with their adoption process. We were talking about praying for this couple who may have to give up their referral (kinda long story please pray for them)
I told him all we could do is pray for them that God will make his will shown to them loud and clear. I know they love these kids with their whole hearts now. I have been there and loved our first referrals for a long time before we lost them.
I thought back to our first referrals how he was amazingly not devastated by loosing them like I was. What I came to realize was in his mind they were not ours and was not totally attached. He was open and willing to adopt them because it was right and he would have loved them but he just couldn't let himself get close to pictures of kids. All I can say is Thank You God for his feeling towards that whole experience. He was not cold, just guarded, I sometimes wish I had been more like him in that way. I don't think the kids could have gone through seeing both of their parents crying hysterically on the couch for days.
He then said the most touching thing I think I have ever heard come out of his mouth yet. "Now with our little man we have bonded with him, Loved him, played with, and accepted him. He is ours and we would wait years to bring him home if we had too. I've accepted him already as ours"
Now those words don't seem like much but coming from him that means " he's my son". That was huge to hear. I mean I knew that in my heart but his I wasn't so sure if he felt that way really or not yet.
If I have learned anything in this bumpy road journey it's that People surprise you along the way. They react differently and not always the way you think they would.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Only those who are going through this know...
This past week has been one kick in the gut after another. Here is the first email we received from our agency on Thursday.
" Serious need for prayer surrounds the most recent news coming out of MoWCY. According to Ato Zerihun, CWAE Country Representative, the Vice-Minister of MoWCY has written a letter to the Federal First Instance Court alleging MoWCY is unable to write more than 5 recommendation letters per day due to staff shortages and other priorities. This is a significant decrease from the previous 30 per day, as already seen in the number of court cases being delayed. Please pray specifically for the Network Committee as they seek an appointment with the Minister to discuss this situation."
Basically this means the time it takes all adoptions in Ethiopia to be done can increase drastically. I read this and felt sick to my stomach. I just kept pleading with God to let us get M home soon. I know there is nothing I can do about it but it doesn't stop the pain in my heart knowing he is there. I had almost come to terms with this horrible news when tonight I get this email stating Specific Prayer request from our agency again.
" In the qtrly stakeholder meeting with DOS officials this morning, it was mentioned that were the government shutdown to take place on March 4th, it would result in all non essential DOS/USCIS?NBC personnel being furloughed, including hose that work in the embassy and consulate offices around the world. If this happened, it woul affect all families in process of adopting in other countries( IE Ethiopia). The shutdown that occurred 15 yrs ago lasted 3 weeks, and no one knows how long another shutdown would last, or even if one will take place"
I was standing in the middle of Toysrus with my daughter, sister and niece while reading this message. All of the sudden all of the air seemed to be sucked out of the store and it felt as if I was going to implode. WHAT!!??? You have got to be kidding. Really I wanted to scream. Of course I kept it together and told my sister about the email. Of course she tried to tell me to put it in God's hands. Now I know this is what I should do, but right at that moment I wanted to run away and just hide from everything. I know like you can hide from God, childish I know. But I didn't want to face anything else. I was totally numb and hurting so bad at the same time. Would M ever get to come home? We met this precious little boy, he called me Mama we fell in love. The next part of the story is he is suppose to come home, right? A huge flood of doubt anger and frustration came pouring in.
I prayed under my breath just to let me hold it together till I could get them to their cars. As soon as they were out I lost it. I had to talk to someone who knew, someone who would understand all I felt. I called Jim. He listened while I told him about the email. He understands But I wear my heart on my sleeve and It is different for a mom than a dad. He tried to stay up beat but then basically told me thanks for sharing such bad news. Well dang it if I had to go through this it wasn't going to be alone! I know he didn't mean it like that. He just doesn't want to think about the negatives which is so unlike him. Like our rolls were reversed some where along the lines during this adoption.
So here I am feeling defeated. You know I am not strong enough for this anymore. I can't do this heartache anymore I have to stop trying to handle it.
Lord, I am here crying, broken, defeated, angry, needing to be put back together. Please help me not just to get through this but to come out on the other side singing praises not nursing my wounds. I need you to carry me right now.
" Serious need for prayer surrounds the most recent news coming out of MoWCY. According to Ato Zerihun, CWAE Country Representative, the Vice-Minister of MoWCY has written a letter to the Federal First Instance Court alleging MoWCY is unable to write more than 5 recommendation letters per day due to staff shortages and other priorities. This is a significant decrease from the previous 30 per day, as already seen in the number of court cases being delayed. Please pray specifically for the Network Committee as they seek an appointment with the Minister to discuss this situation."
Basically this means the time it takes all adoptions in Ethiopia to be done can increase drastically. I read this and felt sick to my stomach. I just kept pleading with God to let us get M home soon. I know there is nothing I can do about it but it doesn't stop the pain in my heart knowing he is there. I had almost come to terms with this horrible news when tonight I get this email stating Specific Prayer request from our agency again.
" In the qtrly stakeholder meeting with DOS officials this morning, it was mentioned that were the government shutdown to take place on March 4th, it would result in all non essential DOS/USCIS?NBC personnel being furloughed, including hose that work in the embassy and consulate offices around the world. If this happened, it woul affect all families in process of adopting in other countries( IE Ethiopia). The shutdown that occurred 15 yrs ago lasted 3 weeks, and no one knows how long another shutdown would last, or even if one will take place"
I was standing in the middle of Toysrus with my daughter, sister and niece while reading this message. All of the sudden all of the air seemed to be sucked out of the store and it felt as if I was going to implode. WHAT!!??? You have got to be kidding. Really I wanted to scream. Of course I kept it together and told my sister about the email. Of course she tried to tell me to put it in God's hands. Now I know this is what I should do, but right at that moment I wanted to run away and just hide from everything. I know like you can hide from God, childish I know. But I didn't want to face anything else. I was totally numb and hurting so bad at the same time. Would M ever get to come home? We met this precious little boy, he called me Mama we fell in love. The next part of the story is he is suppose to come home, right? A huge flood of doubt anger and frustration came pouring in.
I prayed under my breath just to let me hold it together till I could get them to their cars. As soon as they were out I lost it. I had to talk to someone who knew, someone who would understand all I felt. I called Jim. He listened while I told him about the email. He understands But I wear my heart on my sleeve and It is different for a mom than a dad. He tried to stay up beat but then basically told me thanks for sharing such bad news. Well dang it if I had to go through this it wasn't going to be alone! I know he didn't mean it like that. He just doesn't want to think about the negatives which is so unlike him. Like our rolls were reversed some where along the lines during this adoption.
So here I am feeling defeated. You know I am not strong enough for this anymore. I can't do this heartache anymore I have to stop trying to handle it.
Lord, I am here crying, broken, defeated, angry, needing to be put back together. Please help me not just to get through this but to come out on the other side singing praises not nursing my wounds. I need you to carry me right now.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Wait on the Lord
Here is the latest message....
Well we didn't pass but we knew going into it we wouldn't do to MOWA closing offices this week and not having their letter of recommendations. But when we got to court the birth parents had not been there yet. So we were very nervous about that. We looked around the small room and tried to pick out the mother from what I thought she would look like. The court judge pulled us in 3 families at a time, asked yes or no questions and we were done in 60 seconds. She gave another court date of March 8-10. It is really more time than we thought.
Then we went to Acicia village to spend a few hours with M. He was more open this time and even called out "Mama" as we were walking up, someone told me.
I didn't get to hear it though. :(
He was all smiles. Then we had a surprise visit from the birth parents. One father for another child came to say goodbye and then Jim & I walked up on M saying goodbye to his Mom. Talk about a punch in the gut. I was a wreck but held it somewhat together. Mostly scared and hurt for him but all went very well. She was very happy for him and told him something in his language and no tears. He opened up even more after their goodbye, letting Jim and I tickle him and throw him in the air. It was the hardest thing to leave him here not knowing when we will be back. Now it looks more like April/May. The plane ride home will be very hard.
Well we didn't pass but we knew going into it we wouldn't do to MOWA closing offices this week and not having their letter of recommendations. But when we got to court the birth parents had not been there yet. So we were very nervous about that. We looked around the small room and tried to pick out the mother from what I thought she would look like. The court judge pulled us in 3 families at a time, asked yes or no questions and we were done in 60 seconds. She gave another court date of March 8-10. It is really more time than we thought.
Then we went to Acicia village to spend a few hours with M. He was more open this time and even called out "Mama" as we were walking up, someone told me.
I didn't get to hear it though. :(
He was all smiles. Then we had a surprise visit from the birth parents. One father for another child came to say goodbye and then Jim & I walked up on M saying goodbye to his Mom. Talk about a punch in the gut. I was a wreck but held it somewhat together. Mostly scared and hurt for him but all went very well. She was very happy for him and told him something in his language and no tears. He opened up even more after their goodbye, letting Jim and I tickle him and throw him in the air. It was the hardest thing to leave him here not knowing when we will be back. Now it looks more like April/May. The plane ride home will be very hard.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
All the Way from Africa
Well we had our second visit with M today. He is still very quiet but on the up side, when he saw me and Jim walk into the care center, he smiled and waved back to us. It's a start. The care givers said he has always been shy and quiet so this wasn't uncommon for him. He seems to tune out everything when he is doing a task like coloring. He did sit on my lap for a minute this afternoon but then a Nanny brought him a chair to sit on so it was short lived. He does the typical eye brow raise to answer yes to you. So when we tried to ask him a question he would raise his brows slightly for yes. But everything was yes so I am sure he didn't understand half of what we said. We get to go back after court on Monday and our time was moved up to 9:00 am instead of 11:00. We will probably not know if we passed court because of some office moving at MOWA this week. Bummed but our part will be done.
Jamie sent this to me in a message yesterday so I thought I'd pass it on. Later today I will post an "interview" with Lawson and Caitlyn to give you their perspectives on what's going on. :-)
Jamie sent this to me in a message yesterday so I thought I'd pass it on. Later today I will post an "interview" with Lawson and Caitlyn to give you their perspectives on what's going on. :-)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The First Meeting
Jamie posted this on Facebook just a few minutes ago. When I learn more, I'll let you all know! Keep praying for favor!
Our first meeting went very well. He is so quiet and focused. Never seen a 6 yr old so focused on coloring , cars, and kicking around a ball. The boy has some serious soccer skills for a 6 yr old. :) He is a bit shy but I don't blame him. I'd just love to know what he was thinking. We get to go back Friday to visit again.
Our first meeting went very well. He is so quiet and focused. Never seen a 6 yr old so focused on coloring , cars, and kicking around a ball. The boy has some serious soccer skills for a 6 yr old. :) He is a bit shy but I don't blame him. I'd just love to know what he was thinking. We get to go back Friday to visit again.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
They Made It!
This is Jamie's niece, Amy, writing while she is in Africa. I was able to talk to my grandmother, Jamie's mom, this evening to get the update. Both Jamie and Jim made it safely to Ethiopia and are very tired from all the traveling. Lawson and Caitlyn got to talk to Mommy and Daddy. They will call everyday. As I write, I am very excited. Jamie posted on Facebook earlier that they will be able to meet M in the morning. Well, they're about 8 hours ahead of us...so what does that mean? It's 11:30pm here in Indiana and about 7:30am on the other side of the world. Just a few short hours and they get to meet him, the little boy they have worked so hard to bring home. :-)
I hope that Jamie was tired enough to actually get some sleep. She told me Sunday evening that she has been thinking about it so much that she lies awake. Well, the time for the court date is here. Once this is done and taken care of, it's only a few short weeks before M comes HOME. I am praying with all my might that there will be an immediate connection formed between Mom & Dad and their new son. I pray that he understands it all. I pray that their hearts would be able to convey the love they've been storing up for him. I also pray for favor with the judge and legal system there.
Well, that is all I know. I hope and pray that you will join with me in praying for them. While we sleep, they walk into a new phase of their lives. It's not over yet. Quite the opposite, actually. The best is yet to come!
I hope that Jamie was tired enough to actually get some sleep. She told me Sunday evening that she has been thinking about it so much that she lies awake. Well, the time for the court date is here. Once this is done and taken care of, it's only a few short weeks before M comes HOME. I am praying with all my might that there will be an immediate connection formed between Mom & Dad and their new son. I pray that he understands it all. I pray that their hearts would be able to convey the love they've been storing up for him. I also pray for favor with the judge and legal system there.
Well, that is all I know. I hope and pray that you will join with me in praying for them. While we sleep, they walk into a new phase of their lives. It's not over yet. Quite the opposite, actually. The best is yet to come!
Friday, January 28, 2011
3 Days
Wow, In just 3 days we will be getting on a plan to Ethiopia to meet M. I can not wait. I am both scared, excited, nervous, terrified, happy all at the same time. I never thought we'd actually get to this day when we started this journey. It has happened so fast it seems from September to now.
We have 3 very large suitcases 2 of which are donations. That is if I can stop myself from buying more in the meantime. Might end up being 4 suitcases:) Good thing about that is the donation suitcases will be empty once we get there so I will have a blast trying to fill them back up with new purchases over there. Of course Jim says just cause we have them does not mean we need to fill them up. I say what a waste that would be shipping back empty ones. He obviously doesn't know me very well.
One thing I can not wait for is the messes around the house to be clean again.
Our dinning room looks like a war zone. It has been trip central for the past month. Our dinning room table has served a different purpose than intended. We do not eat at because we can not. There is still stuff to be packed all over it. Most people would hide the packing nightmare but not me I want to walk by it everyday so it reminds me of things I need to get done or pack.
This will be the last weekend before our table will resume to the normal status of feeding the masses.
Well not sure if I will be able to blog while there but my niece will try to keep it updated with any new info for me while I am gone. 3 days, 3 days, seems like lifetime from now but will be here in just 3 day:)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
2 weeks
In just 15 short days we will board a plane for the trip of our lifetime. I am so excited I can hardly contain it anymore. Going to the hospital to have both of our children was exciting and scary but this is different. We've seen our son's face we know what he looks like. We will be meeting him for the first time in a place neither of us ever thought we'd be.
No Doctors, no nurses, no family in the waiting room for support. Just us meeting this scared little boy who we have only seen in pictures. Hoping he warms up to these two strangers.
We will know what he looks like but he has never seen us not even in pictures.
I just pray God will prepare him for us. That he will somehow know why we are there and how loved he will be.
15 days, doesn't seem to long but feels like an eternity to me.
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